family

Cousin Charlie

April 30, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

My cousin Charlie passed away last Friday, catching us all somewhat by surprise.

Our history with Charlie – for everyone other than my mom – was regretfully not that long.

I couldn’t have been any older than 12 when my mom came home one day and announced that she had bumped into her long-lost cousin while food shopping at Waldbaum’s. (Keep in mind this was before email and cell phones.) It was a weekday and she invited him for dinner. My aunt drove in from New Jersey, and my grandma came over too. It was a reunion and they were thrilled to have him back in their lives.

Charlie needed money, so he began cleaning and doing odd jobs around our house. His presence quickly became a familiar one, if not also a bit comical. Even at a young age, we were aware of how vastly different and cool Charlie was. He was my blue-collar kid cousin, though he was twice my age.

Charlie was a burly guy with tightly wound curls, bushy eyebrows and an infectious smile. He donned a true Brooklyn accent and thick gold chains. While doing work around the house, he often had visible “butt crack” which my brother and I found absolutely hysterical. He’d clean my mom out of food faster than me and my brother and our friends could. Charlie taught me what a boiler maker was (the kind you chug) when I was a freshman in high school.

And then he moved away.

In the 90′s Charlie headed west to Las Vegas where things were cheaper and he had his mom to look after. His mom Lilly lived to be 100 years old! Charlie, Lily in Vegas Newspaper

Charlie’s absence was definitely felt, but his name was popular in our house and he called to speak to my folks often. As I became older I observed a relationship between him and my dad that warmed my heart. They were friends but my dad also assumed the role of life coach, relationship therapist and parent to Charlie. My brother and I often joked that my dad got great pleasure from this, and he did.

There are so many wonderful memories with Charlie, nearly all of them make me smile and laugh. Like the time my dad was in Vegas for a trade show. He invited Charlie and told him to dress casually. What did Charlie show up in? A baby blue tuxedo! As if you don’t naturally notice a beefy man in a blue tuxedo, my dad recalls the commotion he made – while navigating the booths in search of him – with equal parts affection and embarrassment.

And then there was the final time I saw him in Vegas last year. My close friend Lauren tagged along on that family trip and the night we met up with Charlie he came on to her. Charlie told Lauren he was looking for a roommate and gave her his card, below. It was hysterical and harmless, but of course my dad directed (or tried anyway) Charlie’s attention some place else.

Enough said.

I think Charlie looked at me a bit differently after I became a mom. But that’s ok. I’m pleased he got to meet and shower my son with kisses, even if all Mylo wanted to do was grab hold of Charlie’s eyebrows.

December 2010 at my parents house

My husband, my brother and my cousin Charlie in Vegas, 2011

Cousin Charlie was my crazy Uncle Eddie (National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation). I’m told there’s one in every family, but I also know that Charlie was one of a kind. I’m so glad my mom found him and shared him with us. He will be missed.

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Family Fun in Florida

April 1, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

Last month we took a short but very sweet family vacation to Florida. Other then a beach trip to Montauk, it was our first vacation completely alone with our son Mylo. I honestly didn’t know how what to expect – would I feel smothered by having no alone time? Was it a big mistake to share a hotel room with him?

From the minute I woke him up at 5:15 in the morning to head to the airport, it was an adventure.

A true truck lover, I intentionally packed his toy airplane in his carry-on. I knew having a tangible toy plane would help him connect the one he was sitting in, to the one he liked to pretend fly through the air. Mylo was a trooper the entire flight.

Waiting to board at Laguardia

Our hotel room wasn’t ready for us when we arrived but the front desk was kind enough to store our luggage. I took Mylo to the ladies room and changed him out of the sneakers, sweats and fleece he was wearing and into sandals, shorts and a t-shirt.

We had just arrived some place where you could really feel the sun on your skin. There was blue water and there were palm trees. Sure it was only Florida, but we had left behind more than four months of cold winter temperatures. It was paradise as far as I was concerned and somehow, Mylo “got” this.

You can tell it’s our first day from how white my boy is.

Mylo fell madly in love with the beach and the waves, which made us both very happy. One of his favorite activities while there was removing sand from the beach. He would gather up fists full of sand then throw them into the ocean. It didn’t seem to phase him any that he had a whole lot of ground to cover!

Beachin’ it!

There was some concern over what three vegetarians – the youngest of us being a very picky veg – would find to eat in Florida but we managed just fine. In fact three out of the four dinners we had were magnificent and could have given many New York City restaurants a run for their money.

As far as sharing a hotel room with Mylo, it was heavenly. The beds which were only fulls, left me and Jason playing bumper cars with my bump, literally. Not to mention that I can’t stand having to vie for blankets. So the remainder of the trip I shared a bed with Mylo and it was some of the best sleep I had had in a long time.

Canoodling my kid

And there was alone time. One afternoon when Mylo fell asleep on the lounge chairs by the pool, I lay next to him reading while Jason went for a run. Another time, Jason took Mylo to the beach playground while I went for a run in the morning.

Mylo tackles a slide

On the last night of our trip my we got together with my childhood friend Rachel and her family, who drove from there home in Wellington to have dinner with us.

Rach and me, friends since grade school.

Overall, Fort Lauderdale left more to be desired as a vacation spot. When I was in college Fort Lauderdale was a money town, where yachters went to vacation. Prior to our trip, I did not know this was no longer the case. There were more spring breakers then we would have preferred – especially at our ocean front hotel – which was not cheap. Apparently it’s still the norm to pack six to eight teens into one room.

We had a wonderful time on our much-needed family vacay to Florida, but we certainly wouldn’t return to Fort Lauderdale.

Mylo was not the least bit thrilled we pulled him away from his sand removal project for this family photo.

Mylo was not the least bit thrilled that we pulled him away from his sand removal project to pose in this family photo.

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Finding Out I’m Pregnant

March 23, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

It was no deep dark secret that we’ve been trying to add to our family.

I miscarried for the second time last October and spent all of November trying to wrap my head around it. I just wasn’t convinced that I had carried two unhealthy babies. Nor did I believe that it was stress related. Thanks to the encouragement of a good friend who had went through the exact same thing, I pursued a doctor who would run some tests and then supported my efforts to keep my next pregnancy.

Never did I think the following month we’d become pregnant. When I missed my period around the New Year I took a pregnancy test. Minutes later, one faint line appeared. I tossed it in the bathroom garbage. I waited a few more days when I calculated 4 + weeks pregnant (if I was even pregnant) to take another. Again, I peed on a stick early in the morning. Minutes later, only one line appeared.

I lay back in bed and tossed and turned. I didn’t understand how I could be late, but test negative. Was I already in the process of miscarrying? Weeks four to five proved a crucial time in my prior pregnancies — it’s when I had had my two other losses. I didn’t want to start the suppositories if I wasn’t pregnant (they could prevent me from ovulating the following month) and yet if I was pregnant, the suppositories could help me keep the pregnancy.

Jason and I mulled it over in bed and decided I would make an appointment to see Dr. Brennan to have a blood test done.

Later that morning I was back in the bathroom when I saw the pink shiny wrapper of the pregnancy test staring back at me. Something made me pick it up and look at it. Yep, I garbage picked. I couldn’t believe my eyes, there was not one but TWO lines! One very bright and the other more faint. I dug deeper into the garbage and picked up the first pregnancy test. I pulled it out of its wrapper and same thing, two lines. One bright, one even fainter.

Top one was taken at 4 weeks 3 days. Bottom one at 4 weeks.

I called for Jason, who was in Mylo’s room, and blurted out “I AM pregnant!” There was a long hug and some tears of joy all while Mylo danced around us. It was a few days into the New Year, and one of the happiest moments of my life.

I’ll admit, patience has never been one of my strongest virtues. Knowing this, my husband told me, “it would have paid to be patient.” He was right. For once.

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A Brother or Sister for Mylo

March 11, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

I am thrilled, relieved and pleased to share that we are 13 1/2 weeks pregnant!

Given last year’s losses, I was cautiously optimistic that I would ever make it past five weeks, let alone make it past the first trimester. But this time, I got a little help along the way in the form of vaginal suppositories. And I’m certain that’s why this baby has stayed.

I am grateful for the assistance I got from Dr. Brennan in Brooklyn. And I am so glad I pushed for the suppositories despite him pushing back at one point. On the other hand, I am happy to no longer have to wait up to an hour to see Dr. Brennan, or have my scheduled appointments routinely canceled because he has a mom in labor. I am confident in our decision to bring this baby into the world at home. And relieved that my insurance company approved our request to work with a homebirth midwife!

So much more about the highs and lows of this pregnancy but for now, we await patiently for September 2013 when we get to meet the child who will make Mylo a big brother!

12 week scan. I swear the baby waved at me

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All About Mylo Weekend

February 19, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

This past weekend it was all about Mylo. It was perfect timing since the prior weekend he got snowed in at his grandparents on Long Island, then spent his first two days back in Brooklyn at daycare. Not that either of those two things are bad, they’re actually great! After Mylo broke into a fit upon being dropped off at daycare Monday morning, which was followed by a phone call a few hours later because he wasn’t “acting like himself”, it became obvious that our son was missing us.

So the following weekend became what we dubbed, “an all about Mylo weekend.”

Friday we took him to see Sesame Street Live at Madison Square Garden. We arrived early, just in time to see Cookie Monster, Ernie and Zoe dancing around the “fun zone” pre-show. Mylo was in awe.

The show itself was just like watching an episode. A healthy balance of story telling mixed with educational lessons, singing and dancing. The Sesame Street swag we bought was ridiculously over-priced, but seeing my boys’ eyes light up when he got a hold of his $10 Elmo balloon made every penny well worth it.

Mylo contemplates the craziness of the Fun Zone at Sesame Street Live

Much to our surprise it was 50 degrees when we got out of the show. We took the subway home to Brooklyn and went straight over to his favorite playground.

On Saturday, in honor of Black History Month, we went to the children’s floor of Macy’s for a story book reading of President Barack Obama’s “Of Thee I Sing: A letter to my daughters”.

Sure Mylo was the only white kid, but we felt welcome nonetheless. We sat at little kiddie tables and made our own keepsake books after the reading. When Mylo grew tired of the festivities we bought him a pair of sandals for our trip to Florida next month. And because we spent more than $25 on the children’s floor, we were given a complimentary copy of Obama’s book.

Later in the day we took Mylo for a haircut. His hairdresser Danielle always does a fabulous job of trimming him while keeping the signature curls that we love.

Two peas in a pod watching “Cars”

We stopped by one more park afterward and then ended the weekend off with a scrumptious BYOB dinner at Layla Jones.

Mylo alternates between playing with his new “M” train and taking bites of pasta

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XMAS 2012

January 15, 2013 by Reedu Leave a Comment

The holidays came and went so fast. They kicked off with an important visit from my brother, who was in route with his family for an 18 month stint abroad in Singapore. This visit back home was Diya’s first to her dad’s hometown. It was also the last time I would most likely see my brother for the next year or so.

Here are some photos from a memorable Christmas holiday.

Mylo wasn't having it on Santa's lap alone

Daddy and Diya

This Ukulele caused a scene at Barnes & Noble one day. Naturally, Santa made sure he got it for Xmas.

At Goomah's house with the gingerbread house we made in the background

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Weathering Superstorm Sandy in Brooklyn

November 4, 2012 by Reedu Leave a Comment

Following Saturday’s pumpkin picking and painting festivities, Mylo got sick. We were home bound with a fever-stricken child on the cusp of Superstorm Sandy, which was expected to hit the New York City area hard.

Sunday was business as usual in our house. Doing laundry coupled with watching football. When the storm projections became more serious we picked up some essentials from the grocery store and from the drugstore. I’ll admit, the lines out the door and the near-empty shelves had me a tad nervous. But the day rolled on… until Mayor Bloomberg terminated the NYC transit system. My husband was even told not to show up to work – this coming from a boss who rented a van and picked up all his employees during Hurricane Irene last year.

Our deck furniture all battened down!

Monday felt like the longest day ever. We hunkered down with Mylo who was on the mend. We didn’t take our eyes off the news coverage. We took the dogs for quick walks despite the hard winds and constant mist of rain. Luckily, my friend Scott lives upstairs with his wife and a toddler of their own, so when we got real stir crazy, they came over. We drank wine, played with the kids and waited out the storm. Together.

I communicated with my parents on Long Island up until about 5pm.

A mutual friend of mine and Scott’s who lives close to the water in DUMBO was evacuated by the NYC Fire Department after the lobby of his building began to fill with water. The transistors in the basement of the building across the way from them caught on fire. Chris, his girlfriend Julie and their dog, hitched a ride up the hill to our place.

We eventually put the kids to bed and then the “real” Sandy soiree began!

A few bottles of wine, a really good bottle of champagne and some 18 martinis later, we were having a blast. Other than the lights flickering a few times and the loss of TV and Internet, you wouldn’t have known their was a full-fledged hurricane happening right outside. Probably the only pain we felt from Sandy was a hangover the next day.

Friends since kindergarten and the seventh grade!

The morning after Sandy it was eerily quiet out on the streets. There were fallen trees as far as my eyes could see. Sirens wailed in the distance. Normally where there are cars, people were walking in the middle of the street. When we arrived at the bagel place on Court St. we found its massive awning laying in the middle of the street and the doors boarded closed.

Hurricane Sandy's aftermath on Bergen St.

After our unsuccessful bagel trip, we *tried* to get a table at the diner – turns out one of the few places open in our neighborhood – across the street. Just to put things into perspective a little: On a typical day, this diner has a few tables occupied at a time. The morning after Sandy, it was standing room only. When Jason told the host we were six adults and two kids, he pretty much turned us down on the spot and advised him to not bother waiting. Ahh, if only I had the time to write THAT up on Yelp!

Mylo and Olivia walking to the diner the morning after Sandy.

While Monday felt like the longest day ever as we waited and waited for Sandy to make landfall, Tuesday, which was largely spent trying to connect with family, felt even longer. Neither me, Scott or Chris, who’s parents weathered the storm in our hometown, could reach any of them. Jason also lost touch with his father in Westchester.

I didn’t hear from my folks until Wednesday, a whole two days after the storm. They lost power, had a ton of downed trees in their yard pulling down power lines, and had to drive around town just to find an unreliable cell phone connection. And then came the mile-long lines for gasoline to fill their generator. They likened my safe, hilly, waterfront town with no traffic lights, road detours and tons of downed trees to that of a “war zone.”

Superstorm Sandy nailed some and not others. We were virtually unaffected by it while my folks have been royally stressed and inconvenienced by it. But there are others whose lives have been forever changed by the storm. When I really think about it, I am grateful. Beyond grateful.

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Sidi’s Back!

October 4, 2012 by Reedu Leave a Comment

This is a partner post. Opinions expressed here are my own.

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Today, my dad resumed his weekly childcare visits with Mylo. Since I went back to work when my son was about eight months old, my dad began babyitting Mylo at least one day per week. And when my mother-in-law is in France each summer, he comes to Brooklyn from his home on Long Island to be with Mylo two days per week.

But all that changed in August. My dad’s love of sports and challenging himself physically finally caught up with him. For the last couple of years he developed what started out as an aching pain, and wound up as debilitating pain, in his leg. After many doctor’s visits, MRI’s and second opinions, it was determined that he needed a total hip replacement.

I’ve missed running with my dad these last couple of years. What began as a hobby became a way of life for my dad over the last decade. I ran a marathon first, but when the extensive training began to take a toll on my younger body, and my love life, my old man eventually surpassed me in running long distances. He even became a seasoned “ultra runner.”

Before the start of the 2003 NYC Marathon

The decision to do the surgery was a no-brainer, however the decision to speed up the date of it, happened almost overnight. It was a big adjustment for everyone, namely Mylo, who was used to having “sidi” around a couple of days out of the week. But I know it was just as tough on my dad. Holed up at home unable to drive, or to sit comfortably on anything other than a special highchair, I know that his romps around Brooklyn with his grandson, were sorely missed.

Sidi and Mylo in Brooklyn a couple of weeks before the surgery

I’d be remiss not to mention my mom’s role in all this. She woke at the crack of dawn to accompany my dad to the Hospital of Special Surgery in New York City on the day of his surgery. She was there to help decipher doctor/healthcare speak. And she was there when he woke up and came out of surgery… all while having her trusty iPad on hand. If she wasn’t playing Words With Friends she was playing Scramble With Friends. Lucky for us, my mom hasn’t feasted her eyes on FoxyBingo.com… yet.

So things are back to normal. Mylo’s in daycare Mondays and Tuesdays. He’s with his “goomah” (my MIL), on Wednesdays, with Sidi on Thursdays and with me, on Fridays. We save the best for last in this family. LOL

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My Big Bro

May 24, 2012 by Reedu 2 Comments

My brother Aki is one of the most sensitive people I know. It is one of the qualities I love most about him. The other day when we video chatted via gmail with Mylo, he welled up with tears. I called him on it, but in hindsight I knew damn well why he was misty-eyed. Besides the fact that he hasn’t seen his nephew in a while, he is expecting a tyke of his own in weeks, maybe even days.

It’s almost impossible not to feel like an emotional basket case during the imminent arrival of your first child, the little person you do not yet know but who will change your life forever. I have no doubt that seeing Mylo triggered a happy place for my brother, a place he does not yet know but has spent the last nine + months dreaming about.

I am so excited to watch him become an incredible and doting dad. But I feel so many other things, too. His starting a family means less visits back East to see us. And because we’re on different coasts I don’t expect that I’ll get to know his daughter as well as I would like.

It feels like just yesterday when Aki and I were cruising in my mom’s BMW with the sunroof open, going over the Robert Moses Causeway Bridge. The sun beating down on our curly hair, the ocean’s breeze on our face, we were young, unattached and full of possibility. Now we live on different coasts, have started families of our own, and are on other ends of the spectrum career-wise.

My brother and his wife’s future is taking off. They have a baby on the way and their careers have been prosperous. I couldn’t be happier for them. I only have one sibling and yet sometimes it feels like the distance between us is growing.

Aki & Sarita sharing a weekend alone before the baby

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Mother’s Day Deserved

May 12, 2012 by Reedu Leave a Comment

When I was seven months pregnant people were wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day – on Facebook and in passing friends and neighbors on the street. It didn’t feel right. I hadn’t the faintest idea about the huge role I was about to take on, but I thanked folks all the same.

Last year, when Mylo was nine months old it still didn’t feel like “my” day yet. Just the day in which I’ve honored my own mom for the last 30 + years.

But this year feels different for some reason. My son is almost two years old and he’s a handful and a half. He was an active baby and he’s even more active now as a toddler. I love him more each day, even if those days are challenging. There are times I don’t feel like the greatest mom, but I know I’m doing my best. I imagine I’ll carry this sentiment with me for the rest of my life and so it makes perfect sense why Mother’s Day exists. Because even if I’m not the best mom, I am honored, and thanked, for trying to be on this one day every year.

Mylo came home from daycare with this card on Thursday. Obviously, it wasn’t a solo effort. But if it was, then my son really IS a genius!