Month: May 2012

My Big Bro

My brother Aki is one of the most sensitive people I know. It is one of the qualities I love most about him. The other day when we video chatted via gmail with Mylo, he welled up with tears. I called him on it, but in hindsight I knew damn well why he was misty-eyed. Besides the fact that he hasn’t seen his nephew in a while, he is expecting a tyke of his own in weeks, maybe even days.

It’s almost impossible not to feel like an emotional basket case during the imminent arrival of your first child, the little person you do not yet know but who will change your life forever. I have no doubt that seeing Mylo triggered a happy place for my brother, a place he does not yet know but has spent the last nine + months dreaming about.

I am so excited to watch him become an incredible and doting dad. But I feel so many other things, too. His starting a family means less visits back East to see us. And because we’re on different coasts I don’t expect that I’ll get to know his daughter as well as I would like.

It feels like just yesterday when Aki and I were cruising in my mom’s BMW with the sunroof open, going over the Robert Moses Causeway Bridge. The sun beating down on our curly hair, the ocean’s breeze on our face, we were young, unattached and full of possibility. Now we live on different coasts, have started families of our own, and are on other ends of the spectrum career-wise.

My brother and his wife’s future is taking off. They have a baby on the way and their careers have been prosperous. I couldn’t be happier for them. I only have one sibling and yet sometimes it feels like the distance between us is growing.

Aki & Sarita sharing a weekend alone before the baby

 

Mother’s Day Deserved

When I was seven months pregnant people were wishing me a Happy Mother’s Day – on Facebook and in passing friends and neighbors on the street. It didn’t feel right. I hadn’t the faintest idea about the huge role I was about to take on, but I thanked folks all the same.

Last year, when Mylo was nine months old it still didn’t feel like “my” day yet. Just the day in which I’ve honored my own mom for the last 30 + years.

But this year feels different for some reason. My son is almost two years old and he’s a handful and a half. He was an active baby and he’s even more active now as a toddler. I love him more each day, even if those days are challenging. There are times I don’t feel like the greatest mom, but I know I’m doing my best. I imagine I’ll carry this sentiment with me for the rest of my life and so it makes perfect sense why Mother’s Day exists. Because even if I’m not the best mom, I am honored, and thanked, for trying to be on this one day every year.

Mylo came home from daycare with this card on Thursday. Obviously, it wasn’t a solo effort. But if it was, then my son really IS a genius!

The daycare ladies really know how to tug at your heart strings 🙂

I loved my first Mother’s Day card, on what feels like my first real Mother’s Day.