Sen. Byrd with his wife, Erma, and dog, Trouble
On Monday, the animals lost one of their most powerful and ardent voices, Senator Robert Byrd. A member of the Democratic Party, Byrd served as a Senator from 1959 to 2010 and was the longest-serving senator and the longest-serving member in the history of the United States Congress. Byrd was 92 years old and still in office when he died.
Read the rest of the article on Examiner.com…
My good friend Jen Panton from United Action for Animals was walking her dogs on 5th Avenue close to Central Park early on Friday morning when she discovered a small bird on a window sill flailing its wings, seemingly unable to fly.
On the way back from her walk the bird was still in the same spot so Jen captured it and took it to her bird friend who confirmed that the bird was indeed a fledgling that could not yet fly. Her friend encouraged Jen to bring it back to the same spot she found it since there was a good chance her mother was nearby. Jen was torn. She knew if the bird stood any chance of survival it was with its mother, but she would be returning it to a busy street.
So Jen obliged her friend and returned the bird to the same window sill where she had found it and within seconds her mother swooped down and greeted the bird, speaking to it frenetically. A minute later, the mother bird flapped its wings to cross the street and the baby bird slowly followed. But because she could not open her wings to clear the street in time, she met her fate from a car that was headed in her direction.
Both Jen and the mother bird went to the fledgling who lay dead in the middle of the street. Jen said the mother bird stood over her young and paced back and forth grieving. Jen, also extremely upset, sobbed as she contemplated the lesson in all of it.
Last year I had my first experience with a fledgling and its mother who was trying to teach its young to find its wings. It’s an uneasy feeling, watching the baby bird get caught in places the mother bird cannot rescue it from. So you intervene where you can, torn about taking it from its mother or allowing nature to take its course…
Last night marked the completion of a six-week childbirth education class that my husband Jason and I took along with nine other couples at Birth Day Presence in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
The class attracted the same sect of people: couples who were looking to avoid having a cesarean birth, and who were in large part, earthy people who would like to bring their children into the world naturally. For the most part, the classes were beneficial — especially for my husband, who learned a lot and had an opportunity to connect with other dads-to-be about his hopes and fears.
Each week after class we’d get an email assignment from the instructor, Jada Shapiro, which typically entailed reading that we would then speak about in length in the following class. But in preparation for the last class moms-to-be received an email from Jada titled, “Final Assignment–Secret.”
The assignment was to create a “Birth Bundle” which had three objects in it. The first item should speak to the mother – a symbol that would signify the women in her family or community. The second item was to represent the energies of the father, either physically or spiritually, and the third item was one that would remind the mother of her love for her unborn child. And finally, we were to wrap the items in a piece of cloth or sack that had some significance and share the bundles with our partners and the other couples at the end of class. I knew when I was combing our apartment for the items that it was an emotional assignment, but nothing prepared me for just how emotional it would be until it came time to share my bundle last night.
I went second, following in the footsteps of a woman who shared three really beautiful and personal items from her bundle, but also managed not to cry. My first object in my birth bundle that was meaningful to me was my grandmother’s gold bracelet. She was a woman that owned jewelry from all over the world, and during her nine-month battle with pancreatic cancer I watched as she shed piece after piece, not having the heart or energy to wear it all anymore. But the one that remained until she died was this thick, gold, chain bracelet. I explained with shaky hands and a quivering voice that moments after she passed away in the living room of our home 10 years ago, my mom took the bracelet off her arm and put it on mine.
The second item was the stainless steel hardware that kept our dog’s bones in place for 10 months after undergoing her third major surgery. (I totally cracked right about here by the way). I tried with watery eyes to explain about our background in animal rescue, but then turned to my husband, holding this small but heavy piece of hardware that I stole off his desk and told him, “this is a testament to you and how incredibly steadfast and patient you were through her care: the weekly doctor appointments, the multiple surgeries, the infections…” and I wanted to say, but I’m not sure that I did, that I believe that those same qualities will shine through in his journey as a father.
The third object wasn’t so easy for me to come up with as I do not know this little human who is living inside me yet, but I chose the “tiny gPant” from gDiapers. I explained how the diaper represented our desire to be green and kind to the earth by not using disposable diapers. It was a cute note to end on as the tiny gPant, which will sit on the rumpus of our newborn until he/she grows into a “small,” is about the size of a small orange.
And finally, I explained the significance behind the cloth I wrapped all the items in: a piece from a section of an organic cotton, bone-colored scarf that I never wear. The cloth represents the organic and neutral color of the baby’s bedding, washcloths, burping cloths and cover-ups.
Well if the waterworks didn’t completely spill while I presented, they certainly did as we continued to go around the room! The brave woman sitting next to me shared a piece of rock from her bundle which she found on a writing retreat she went to in New Mexico. She said the rock, which had many facets, represented her and her partner’s long and very difficult journey to conceive.
Another woman, who lives one block away from us in our neighborhood and who I first met in prenatal yoga class at the YMCA, also added to the emotional night. She and her husband have been renovating their apartment and have spent the last trimester of her pregnancy displaced from their home and sleeping on an Aero Bed. She wasn’t able to create a bundle as a result of not being in her home, but she did take us through the items that would be in it had she been able to make one. It wasn’t so much the significance of the items but the fact that she is displaced, and missing out on this deep-seated need to nest while pregnant, that did it for me.
However personal, it was a nice exercise to share with our partners. And it turned out to be equally as nice to share something so personal with the other women and moms I have something in common with, and who are on their own unique and special journey through pregnancy.
One of the doormen in our building, who is also a good friend of ours, has been telling us about a dog-friendly beach off the Belt Parkway for a while now. So yesterday we got Ella in the car and set out to find it, which turned out not to be all that far from where we live.
Me, Ella and ? hanging at Plum Beach
It’s called Plum Beach. There was a ample parking, a lovely breeze and a decent view, but the grounds, while wild, were also a bit polluted. What’s more, it must be horseshoe crab mating season because there were scores of them, lying on top of one another, making for a not-so-inviting dip in the water. Speaking of mating, it turns out that Plum Beach’s close proximity to the parkway, makes it a popular destination for people who are cruising for sex. The spot is also popular among local kiteboarding enthusiasts, which Ella got a real kick out of watching.
So as freaky as it kind of is, how many beaches in New York can you bring your dog to and not have to pay an entry fee for? Yea, not many. So for these reasons alone, we’ll definitely be returning to Plum Beach.
A long, albeit exceptionally excellent and important article by Charles Siebert for the NY Times.
“…another significant reason for the increased attention to animal cruelty is a mounting body of evidence about the link between such acts and serious crimes of more narrowly human concern, including illegal firearms possession, drug trafficking, gambling, spousal and child abuse, rape and homicide,” the NY Times.
I never had a bridal shower and I had somewhat of an unconventional wedding. So it came as no surprise when I started thinking early on into my pregnancy about what my baby shower wouldn’t be.
For starters, it wouldn’t be a painful occasion in which women sat around in a circle doing arts and crafts while I opened presents. Nor would we play any silly games. No disrespect to the scores of women who have conventional baby showers, but it’s just not for me.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand and respect the reasons for having a shower when you are expecting your first child. The expecting parents need things. A lot of things. But the key word here is, parent-sss.
When I first set out thinking about a shower I knew it would be a “Jack & Jill.” Jason was one half of the reason why I was pregnant in the first place. What absolved him of requesting these things from family and friends, too?
Because I knew the shower would fall some time in the summer, it was a no-brainer to plan an outdoor BBQ in my parents expansive backyard on Long Island. The yard I grew up in. The yard I got married in. And since the majority of our friends have children and dogs, we decided that they would be invited, too.
We designed our very own baby shower invites in Photoshop and proceeded to plan an outdoor BBQ for June 5th, with a rain date of the following Saturday, June 12th.
Our DIY shower invites!
My brother and his wife flew in for the party and camped out in our apartment in Brooklyn Heights the week leading up to the shower while Jason and I took a stay-cation at my parents house in Northport. It was a bit odd, being displaced like that during the week, but it allowed us to plan and prepare for a BBQ in which we were expecting 50 adults, 13 children and seven dogs.
I ran four miles with my dad the morning of the shower while dark clouds moved along steadily, and ominously, above us. When we got home, we had a family meeting with Jason on speakerphone (he had to go back in to the city for work), and my husband’s wife sitting mum, but as supportive as ever.
My dad wanted to call the shower off and after Jason saw the weather reports, he too, was in favor of postponing it until the following week. However my mom, who has a tendency to go into stress mode when planning big occasions at our home, was in favor of goin for it, while my best friend Lauren chimed in via text message: “It will work out, it always does.”
I couldn’t help but take the weather personally. After all, it had rained on our wedding day, too. But on our wedding day there was a gigantic tent pitched in the backyard, not to mention the luck of something up above that stopped the rain and brought out the sun one hour before the ceremony started. Would we have such luck again?
In the end, the women prevailed. The shower would go on. And while I was happy to just be getting it over with, I prayed to God it wouldn’t pour.
It didn’t.
In fact, each hour came and went with intense heat and a light breeze, but no rain. Not even a clap of thunder could be heard in the distance.
The shower was a huge success and a ton of fun, complete with children running around squealing with delight, dogs chasing one another (even Ella got in on the fun), and a table full of wonderful gifts that we did NOT open in front of everyone.
Leave it to our baby shower for their to be some gambling, too! Lauren made us a baby pool in which you can guess the sex of the baby and the date that it will be born. Only one person’s name can occupy a box and it’s $5 per box to play. No one chose my due date, August 8th, under boy or girl, and the majority of the guesses have me going early with a boy. The lucky winner takes home the pool which is up to $160.
As I walked around the yard making sure that the coolers were always full, the dog bowls had cold water and that my vegetarian friends had their fill of soy dogs and veggie burgers, I took great joy in seeing my childhood friends’ children running around. It turned out that so too, did my friends. That night Sharon said to me, “I was sitting in your kitchen and Ashley was going ‘mommy, mommy,’ and I thought, how cool? I grew up in this kitchen and now here’s my kid sitting where I once sat.”
The next day, Tish wrote me and said, “I cannot tell you what Saturday meant to me, to be around your parents and my children in a backyard I grew up in. It brought back so many memories.”
To think I will join them in those same feelings in less than two months from now — to be creating new memories where there are already so many old. Let’s just say that the mere thought of it leaves me feeling pretty damn good.
One could make a joke or two about the placement of that knife!
This Friday, June 11th I will be attending The Pregnant New Yorker’s Pregnancy Health Expo in Manhattan. Click here for more details…
The expo will be at Kinespirit at 40 East 23rd Street b/w Park and Madison from 6 – 9 pm. It’s $20 per person pre-registered and $25 at the door, however I still have a few leftover complimentary passes. If you would like one, leave a comment and I will get in touch with you asap.
Here I am at 30 weeks pregnant…
We went for a couple of good runs over the weekend. One with your daddy and the other with my dad and my brother. Running with you is not necessarily easy, but quite enjoyable nonetheless. It makes me feel amazing and I can’t help but think in some way, I am passing that same feeling on to you 🙂
I saw our midwife yesterday who said you are in the right position and that I am the right weight (phew), and she even showed me where your little hands were and then we shook hands! You have been quite active but there is no discerning your patterns of activity. Sometimes you knock around early in the morning, other times after I have an orange, and often when I sit down around 5:00 to watch the evening news.
Beverly said she would let me go to 41 weeks and six days if for some reason you are running a bit late for your big debut – which means you will be born any day between now and August 21st. That’s quite the relief since most doctors only let you go days to maximum one week past your due date. I am pretty confident though, that you will come on your own terms.
The baby shower BBQ bash is this weekend. We’re headed out to Long Island a bit early in preparation for it. We’re expecting 50 adults, 13 children and about six or seven dogs. Will post pics next week…